Somebody somewhere, badly needs to point out to Mr. and Ms. Average American the blatant stupidity of allowing young girls to dress so provocative as seemingly is the fashion of the day. One only needs to take a step back and open their eyes to see the problems it has caused. The question really is – How did we get there?
Let me explain that I’m the father of a young woman that is twenty three years old. I lived not so very long ago through perhaps the most scary few years a father can have: a baby girl, growing thru adolescence and those terrible teens, to womanhood. From what I’ve seen I believe I’m well qualified to put my two cents into the issue.
All this started years ago, to be blunt and not pussyfoot around the matter, when we as a society reevaluated the role of Churches and Schools in “the American way of life”. Someone came up with the brilliant idea that it wasn’t good to discipline a child. “Give them a ‘Time Out’, they said. Teachers shouldn’t, and couldn’t, spank a student. We took the roll of molding an honest, respectful, person away from the schools, but we forgot to give it back to the parents. And we as parents didn’t quite pick up on the fact that NOBODY was teaching our kids right from wrong anymore. Also, along with discipline, we took a couple of bedrock symbols of ‘Values’ out of our schools. No longer was prayer allowed. The Ten Commandments could no longer be posted. We were told that they interfered with a child’s personal choice and own beliefs.
This was the beginning of a new era of enlightenment they told us, but what did the beginning bring us? I remember, oh, its been a good many years back now, watching a high school Homecoming Parade in my home town. As the high school band played and marched along we all smiled and waved and rejoiced in the spirit of the moment – until the Band all of a sudden stopped marching and the drum line broke out into a different beat – and the rest of the Band began, and I’m not joking, literally dry humping each other. I mean got down on the ground and on top of each other and, I’m serious, simulated having sex. I thought my father was going to keel right there. “It was just a dance.” we were later told. It was all planned and choreographed by the band director. It was a new age. A new era. The protests didn’t go far.
Backing up a bit, remember the sixties? The youth of America. The world! Free love, if it feels good do it. Hippies (I thought I was one). Remember Clockwork Orange? Midnight Cowboy? Jimi Hendrix. The Beatles. All You need Is Love, DA dada da da. Remember when LSD was a mind expanding experience. And everyone needed a Guru. Are you experienced? Have you ever been experienced? Remember: The Pill. All those people are parents and grandparents now.
Now as we get older we see our children as miniature representatives of ourselves. And by God, if we weren’t popular in school our kids will be. If we weren’t pretty, or sexy, our kids will be. Look at my kid, that’s MY reflection your looking at. I’M COOL! I’M SEXY! It’s ME. I’m living again thru my child!!! We’re interjecting our grown up beliefs and ideas onto our little kids. We want to assure they become who we think we are. My boy is going to be macho, because I’m macho. So he gets a buzz cut and if we smell cigarette smoke on his clothes, or alcohol on his breath, well he’s my boy and he’s more mature for his age, and after all he has to start making his own decisions now that he’s growing up… HE’S TWELVE!!! The daughter? Well she’s going to be Miss Popularity! She’s cute. No, she’s beautiful! All the boy’s are going to be chasing her. After all, look at that cute figure of hers. And those long legs and skinny waist. She’s even getting a jump start, putting tissue in her training bra. Isn’t that cute. Wouldn’t I have been something if I’d had titties at her age. She’s the hottest ten year old in the whole darn school… Momma smiles.
My daughter was a cheer leader. It’s as much a sport as basketball or track or any other sport offered a girl at our local school. And it’s a whole lot more competitive. Tryouts can literally destroy a kid. Also their parents, mothers especially. My daughter didn’t make cheerleader her first try and I’m quite proud to say she was only broke up for a couple of days about it. One of her classmates didn’t make it and her parents pulled her out of the school. (She didn’t make it the next year at the new school either.) But that’s not my point about cheerleaders. Have you heard some of the cheers they do? And seen some of the dances!? And speaking of dances, several years ago the school Dance Team did a routine to the song ‘Poppa Don’t Preach’. MY jaw dropped as I watched those 13 thru 17 or 18 year old girls dance to the lyrics “I’m keeping my Baby”. I don’t know which was worse, that, or when they danced to “Gangsters Paradise”.
If you ever get the chance, take a trip to a store that sells computer and video games. See what our kids are entertaining themselves with nowadays. We worry about Sex and Violence on television, but buy video games for our kids that feature stealing cars and shooting cops. They are the most popular thing going right now.
Now we find ourselves wondering why teachers are having sex with students. Why date rape seems so prevalent. Why drugs and alcohol are rampant in our schools. Drugs, Alcohol, and Guns. And we are worried. We pass laws. And we react and don’t tolerate! No knives in school. Mandatory expulsion for fighting. Can’t wear things with writing on them because it my be provocative. Sexually, or racially, or socially. Sex between students and teachers has been going on for years. There are even songs about it. About being “Hot for the teacher” But do we search for a root cause? No. Why? Because it may step on somebody’s toes. So we go on, like a chess game, trying to block the attack and save our king. Hoping to avoid checkmate. Meanwhile, the answer continues to stare us in the face. Sadly, the answer isn’t ‘Politically Correct’.
No morality. For to interject morality you have to have a baseline of what is right, or acceptable, and what is wrong, or unacceptable. And right and wrong who gets to decide? Once upon a time it was the church. Well that’s no longer acceptable to our society. Or it was the values of the teachers, but they no longer have a right to interject their views on our kids. So, its become the views of the majority. That is, as long as those views don’t step on my rights. So, it all falls to the lowest common denominator. If it doesn’t hurt anyone and it feels good, do it. After all, isn’t abortion just another form of birth control? Isn’t homosexuality just a lifestyle choice? And what goes on behind closed doors at my house isn’t any of your concern. If I want my ten year old to look sexy, who are you to say otherwise? If I think its alright for her to date at twelve, who are you to say its not? And if I turn my kids loose at the mall on the weekends unchaperoned its nobody’s business but mine. It’s none of your business if my14 year old looks 18 and is attracting 18, or 20, or 25 year old guys. Cause, if my daughter gets raped, it’s the malls fault! Not hers. Not mine. But aren’t we really the ones who put Brook Shields, naked enough, on a platter? Or watched as she swam in that beautiful blue lagoon.
Where will we be in a few years? It hasn’t been all that long ago when a lot of what is commonplace now was wholly unacceptable. Just look at the statistics. How many people are in jail right now for statutory rape, or carnal knowledge? And its happening more and more. Kids are having sex younger and younger nowadays. And they are looking and acting more and more mature. Its nothing to find out a 12, 13, or 14 year old is sexually active. Why are we so shocked when we find that little girls are sexually active with older men? How long until its so common its acceptable? At the rate we’re going there will be a registered sex offender on every block. Shocked? Shocked like back when grandma found out her neighbor was homosexual? How long till it’s just a issue of choice and privacy. How long till the ACLU sues for the right of a 15 year old to be with her 20 year old lover? Or that man-boy group claims it as just another “Gay Rights Issue”!
I’m lucky. My kid made it through. She was a great kid and had a great mom and was smart and athletic and popular. Our best investment was teaching her a good set of morals. That and a cell phone. She often called her mom several times during a date just to let her know where they were and what they were doing, and how much of a good time they were having. My daughter, strange as this sounds, never had a curfew. She never needed one. She was always home at a reasonable time on her own accord. Why? Because she had values. She was brought up going to Church and Sunday school. We were able to put her in a private school where she got a good education, where those Ten Commandments were posted on the wall. Where prayer was offered at pep rallies and ball games and assemblies and graduations. She had a mother that was her mentor, as well as friend. And her mom and I gave her an example to live by. Now don’t get me wrong, she wasn’t perfect by any stretch of the imagination, but I wouldn’t trade her for anything. She’s a college graduate now. Graduated with honors, too.
Yes, we fell into that trap that a lot of parents fall into, Wanting our kid to be popular. Letting her wear some of those not quite appropriate clothes. Giving her too much “stuff”. But we saw where it was heading in time. Sadly, too many parents don’t.