Either the left has been blowing smoke up everybody’s wazoo the last eight years, or they think George W. Bush is the most brilliant genius the world has ever known. After this last election I’m starting to see the genius side of there argument. After all, I was foolish enough to think that things like record, ability, and facts actually mattered… After this last election I’ve started to believe I was wrong. It’s ALL been a grand scheme by an evil genius…
I should have started getting the hint when Bill Clinton’s wife first told everybody about that vast right wing conspiracy. I didn’t believe it. But now I see it had to be true. But it wasn’t any large conservative gang that did it, it was Bush.
I don’t pretend to know all the details, for how could one ever figure out all the brilliant details of this scheme of Bush’s, which was obvious to get him the Presidency (and ultimately power over the entire world I suppose, for isn‘t what that what evil geniuses do?).
Somehow Bush got Monica that internship. She was an obvious plant, Bush knowing Clinton’s penchant for average looking girls with a little meat on their bones. As one of W’s agents she was even able to secure the ultimate in DNA evidence if the case had needed to ever get that far. It was the perfect plan to provide cover to further the other, more devious, schemes Bush had.
I wish I did have the details of how he pulled it off, or perhaps I don’t, but he was somehow able to construct the voting machines used in some of the locations in Florida where he hadn’t, I guess, been able to buy off all the votes necessary to assure his victory. These machines were designed to cause hanging chads and pregnant bulges or something or other that would cause the election to go to the Supreme Court, which of course his father had bought for him back when HW was president. I’m sure there were other complex layers of the scheme that never came to light somehow assuring that George W would become president.
Bush’s competition in the 2000 election was Al Gore. Al is environmentally conscious and a proponent of the Kyoto Treaty which of course runs contrary to what the everyday genius type wants. Bad for the country and bad for the economy, even average geniuses know that. Bush doesn’t care about the environment for the world around him has no effect on him… he’s that smart. Plus, he’s cold natured…
Now I certainly don’t know all the details of the why’s and the how’s, and what he got out of it I don’t know, but George W. Bush’s ability to manipulate the weather is way up there genius. Maybe he himself is causing global warning on purpose. We’re told he was able to make a hurricane, Katrina, and send it to New Orleans so that he could sneak into town hidden by all the rain and wind and stuff in order to blow up the levees there and flood out the ninth ward, I guess because they didn’t vote for him in the last election, or because of Louisiana having a democrat for governor at the time, or maybe he had gotten some bad oysters or something.
When everybody from New Orleans went to Houston he sent another one close to there to give them all a real good scare. He is apparently no Saint’s fan either, since he put all those people in the Super Dome and then stopped up all the toilets.
Since many of those New Orleans folks stayed in Houston he recently sent another hurricane their way, and we certainly all hope they’ve now gotten the message, and Bush will stop with all the storm stuff.
The true genius of Bush however shines in how he was able to pull off 9-11. I somehow think the No Child Left Behind Act was somehow a diversion so nobody would notice some of what it took to pull it off. After all, a republican actually doings something…, actually ANYBODY in Washington actually doing something to help minorities’ and African American’s kids get a better education had thrown the establishment there for a loop. It was almost the perfect diversion.
The democrats were in a tizzy because of it. They, of course, couldn’t afford that constituency becoming better educated. It would mean loss of power and money as they wouldn’t be so easily controlled each and every election. They had always been able to pretty much take that segment of the population for granted, and a higher overall level of education would mean that they would start thinking for themselves and their vote would start having to be earned (see, Hillary?). Bush must have known they wouldn’t have time to notice what he was really up to with them occupied with trying to throw kinks into it.
None of the republicans were in on it and some had questions as to how the funding could be spread equitably across the board and vouchers and stuff, almost throwing a kink in Bush’s plans themselves, but it passed anyway. Educated people make more money, and republicans like people making money. They like money, and it takes money to make money, so they say, so anybody making more money is okay with republicans, minority or not.
While everybody’s attention was diverted by some of the wonderful plans that Bush announced when he took office it was somehow easy for ‘W’ to quickly infiltrate the CIA, FBI, NYPD, the military, and all the other government agencies necessary to hatch the 9-11 plot, which of course was to avenge the assassination attempt on his father by Saddam Hussein, so they say.
Since he had been in office only about eight months or so when it occurred Bush had must have already brought in a bunch of foreigners before the election for training. Poor peaceable Muslims who he had apparently brainwashed into doing his bidding. But this shouldn’t have been any problem at all for the genius that is Bush, we now realize. Of course Bush either had Osama bin Laden on his payroll, or had somehow manipulated the terrorist into being his unwitting accomplice…, I haven’t been so far able to determine. It matters not.
9-11, as I said, was just a bit of revenge for Saddam Hussein attempting to have GW’s father assassinated after the first gulf war (a war which may itself have been part of the plan to make W president in the first place). The Oil was just a diversion for the weak minded, as we really didn’t need it, but more on that later.
Of course, as grand schemes go, these doing are rather complex. To pull it all off Bush needed to make a war somewhere else, and where better than Afghanistan. Afghanistan was full of backwards people going around blowing up statues of Buddha, and we pretty much knew where everything was. They wouldn’t let little girls go to school there, and Bush’s wife being a teacher, or librarian, or something, he could make points at home by rectifying that. Besides, who’s gonna object to little girls going to school?
And of course to create a diversion from any investigation into 9-11 another genius plot was hatched. Bush would sneak into Iraq and take out all the WMD’s that the Clinton administration knew where there, then Bush himself would claim they were there and attack, using that attack to get Saddam which was the reason for it all in the first place. The WMD’s we of course removed first to assure they wouldn’t be used against our guys, for after all they are some pretty bad stuff.
There (the WMD’s) not being there when we went in was a problem, and why he didn’t just sneak them back I don’t know, but it mattered little for by then Bush was into his second term. And some details aren’t worth troubling geniuses with after all. Bush did leave the 550 metric toms of yellowcake there just to rub Joe Wilson’s nose in it however.
A lot of people want us to think that some of what we invaded Iraq for was it’s oil. I haven’t figured out all of this part yet, but I think that Bush really didn’t want the oil, but wanted to stop it. He’s an oil man after all, so he must have already had bathtubs full of it at his house in Crawford. He told everybody back in the first few months of his first term that we needed to do something about a potential shortage and all, but he knew nobody would listen to him and in fact would do just the opposite, setting himself up to make a fortune when the price skyrocketed like it did. Warning everybody to do something so they wouldn’t, thereby driving the price up. Now THAT’s genius!
As the left has repeatedly pointed out, the main thing might just really have been to undo our Constitution. Yes, 9-11’s main purpose may have been to circumvent all our civil rights. Bush, being paranoid of course, as superhuman geniuses tend to be – we’ve all seen the James Bond movies – just can’t stand not knowing what everybody is up to. And with a pesky constitution preventing him from listening in on our grandmothers phone calls overseas without a warrant, and he wouldn’t have any way of knowing what books we were all reading at the local library. That would have been illegal, and of course illegal and genius are like oil and water. And of course he’s a busybody and couldn’t stand our ability to open an account at the bank without proper identification. Things like this Mr. Bush just can’t stand for… so goodbye civil rights!
Another mark of the sheer genius that is Bush is the economy. Being a Texan, Bush must have many friends that are Mexican. He made the American economy so good that many Americans wouldn’t do menial labor and take on low wage jobs anymore, therefore providing jobs for and allowing many of his Mexican and other Central and South American friends to sneak into the country where he planned to make them honorary citizens. With Americans at statistical full employment, and with the economy soaring, there were tons of jobs available for those illegal’s Bush smuggled in. Picking peas, planting trees, plucking chickens…, good jobs.
There are kinks to work out in every plan of course and with the stock market at record levels Bush would have a hard time buying up most of the country before he leaves office. He caused the housing market to crash bringing down the stock market so he can buy at discount bargain prices. He must have had this planned for a good long while also, because he had warned us that this crises was coming, too, back in the first months of his first term. As smart as he is he knew that the congress wouldn’t take his warning and would keep on keeping on. Pure genius.
There have been those on the left that have seen through Bush the whole time, telling us over and over that Bush was doing all of this stuff. That Bush stole the election of 2000. Bush caused 9-11. Bush attacked Iraq not for WMD’s or any war on terrorism, but to “get back” at Saddam, or steal their oil. Bush hates the earth and caused global warning. Bush caused Katrina and blew up the levees in New Orleans. Bush caused the oil shortages and the high cost of gasoline and he made everybody buy houses they couldn’t afford in order to make the stock market crash. Those tax cuts were just to help his rich friends and all those jobs that were created were for..for.. for something (I don’t have it all figured out, I told you that,…). Everything that has been done has been done by Bush. If it was good it was really bad, and if it was bad it was to cover up for something much much worse.
Never mind that we haven’t been attacked again since 9-11. Never mind that Iraq now is becoming a stable country and an evil Saddam Hussein and his sons and their rape rooms and mass grave are gone. Never mind the surge worked. Never mind that the Taliban is no longer in power in Afghanistan and now people in that country are starting to get a taste of democracy and equality. Never mind the Bush tax cuts caused the economy to soar and a job market to be as strong as it’s perhaps ever been, like he told us it would. Never mind that the economy was super strong and the stock market soared to record heights those first six years of the Bush presidency, despite the terrorist acts and the natural disasters that should have brought it all down.
Never mind that all that happened when Bush had a republican congress backing him. Never mind that we wanted change back in 2006 and replaced those republicans with democrats, and now we reap the wonderful benefits. Never mind that Bush warned us about the energy shortage back in 2001 and the need to do something to correct the situation, AND that if we didn’t add more regulation to the subprime mortgage industry it would cause terrible effects to the whole economy, again, way back in 2001. Never mind that time and time again he’s stuck to his principles and not given in to running a popularity contest presidency.
Forget all that, for those are just side issues, random results, and meaningless drivel, at least according to the left. The lefties have told us over and over what Bush has done, and in order to have pulled all those things off he’d have to be the ‘greatest genius of all times’.
For all his genius, however, the icing on the cake is with his getting America to elect Barack Obama president. This is genius in it rawest and most spectacular form. I see Bush was able to manipulate the press and the people by diverting them into a hatred for him so deep and bad that nobody would even think to bother to check and see that Obama has no real experience, no real record, and no real plan. This is the perfect cover. Think about it. With some of the stuff coming out now about some of stuff Obama wants to do, well, some of those that gave Obama his most support may soon be in for the shock of their lives. After a couple of years of Obama, Bush might just seem like one of the greatest presidents of all time. That’s brilliant! Pure genius.